52 years of marriage

Mr Reine ‘Nick’ van Tonder and his wife, Sandi, have been married for 52 years.

“When you reach your 52nd wedding anniversary, you just love everything about each other,” said Nick, as he is commonly known.

Nick and Sandi met on November 5, 1960, Nick’s cousin’s wedding.

“There were not enough girls at the wedding, so we had to go and get them. Some of the guys I was with knew some girls and we convinced them to come with. Sandi was of the girls who decided to come with,” said Nick.

Sandi pointed out that before going to the wedding, the pair had never met before.

“They said there was a party, but when we arrived we found out it was a wedding,” she said.

He added that her and Nick ‘clicked’ from the start.

“I started visiting her family. Her mother said, ‘I like him but not his hair.’ At the time, had I had long hair,” said Nick with a smile.

“The next time Nick visited, he had cut his hair,” said Sandi. She pointed out the couple’s wedding photo, which showed the new hairstyle he chose.

The couple walked down the aisle on February 16, 1963, to the tune of The Blue Danube, by Johan Strauss II.

In 1967 they bought their first house in Kensington. 48 years later, the couple still lives in the same house.

“We bought it for R9 000. With everything, including interest, I think we paid about R20 000,” said Sandi.

“Later on, we put a swimming pool for about R2 500,” said Nick.

Sandi added that Nick’s employer graciously helped out the couple by paying for half the cost of the swimming pool.

To this day, the pair still call each other “Lovey”.

“We worry about each other quite a lot. If he is late, he will call, or I will call and ask if he is fine. We care for each other,” said Sandi.

The couple has three children and grandchildren, with a great-grandchild on the way.

The couple also likes to travel.

“When our children were all grown up and out the house, we started travelling. We love trips. We recently went on boat trip number 12 and the 13th one is already booked for next year. Boat trips are value for money. Its so nice, there are no phones, no television, just the people you are with and the ocean. It is a lovely five days,” said Sandi.

The couple said the road to 52 years of marriage has not always been easy sailing.

“There are plenty of hills, but we pulled together. We work together. If there is a problem, we sort it out. We always work together,” said Nick.

He added that when he wants to tell his wife she is doing something he does not like, he raises the issue with love.

“I approach her very carefully,” said Nick, to laughter from his wife.

Sandi said they have grown closer together over the years.

“We get on very well. After 52 years, Nick will sometimes say something which I was already thinking,” said Sandi.

Nick and Sandi offered some advice to newly weds:

“Be patient with each other. Be truthful to each other. I think honesty is the best policy. If you have a problem, sort it out and just be there for each other,” said Sandi.

Nick remembers what the priest said on their wedding day.

“He told us to never go to bed at night angry. Sort it out before. Even if you sometimes slip up, try to stick to it,” said Nick.