Mike Sayer was an addict for 28 years.
Even though many of his former associates are no longer around, Mike is still able to tell his life’s story – and the happy ending that goes with it.
It has not been an easy journey, but Mike has managed to remain clean for the last four years, even starting up and successfully running a business.
A ‘blue baby’ born with cyanotic heart defects, Mike had a speech impediment and went to a special needs school. At 12, he started using dagga and Mandrax, even growing his own marijuana in the backyard of his Kensington home. Soon he was sniffing petrol and downing rum.
“My parents both worked long hours. I was rebellious and in with the wrong crowd. It all came down to peer pressure,” he said.
The abuse continued for nearly three decades, during which time he married at the age of 22, became a father and even spent five years in jail.
“I was a manufacturing jeweller in Bedfordview and was doing quite well for myself. Then I started drinking heavily during the day and I fell in with a bad crowd. I did not care about anything,” said Mike.
He was sentenced to five years in jail for armed robbery and murder at 23 years old. He committed the crimes while under the influence of drugs.
Shortly before his release in 1998, he was introduced to crack cocaine, a potent drug that causes a short-lived, intense high that is immediately followed by depression, edginess and a craving for more of the drug. People who use it often don’t eat or sleep properly. Users also feel paranoid, hostile and anxious.
“I would disappear for days and even paid off my parole officer. I put my family through hell. Crack became my drug of choice, along with LSD and heroin. It took me to places I had never been before, real hell-holes. I could see demons around me.”
Mike’s wife, Debbie, remembers four different Mikes – sober Mike, drunk Mike, high Mike and demon-like Mike. Although he largely did drugs away from home, his wife and three children were nervous around him when he was home, which was seldom.
The turning point came when he was at his family doctor with what he thought was bronchitis, only to be told that he had sclerosis of the liver and yellow jaundice.
“My doctor said if I did not stop, I would be dead in two years. I made the choice there and then to stop. The doctor gave me medicine to help,” said Mike.
Today, Mike and Debbie have been married for 22 years and their three children now have an open relationship with their father.
When Mike became clean, his dad, who died nearly two years ago, helped him set up a gold and diamond exchange in Yeoville, ironically his former drug hunting ground.
The business has done so well that Mike will soon be opening a fourth store.
“I am still paying my dues for the years of abuse I put my body through, but my health is slowly returning.”
Debbie said she stuck with Mike through his darkest years because she knew he had a disease and that he needed help.
“We went for counselling when he was clean and we slowly learnt about each other again,” said Debbie.
Mike has a thriving business and a beautiful Kensington home, which is all a miracle when considering his past.
Mike says that pivotal to him getting clean was a journey of self discovery. “You have to get to know yourself, accept who you are with all your imperfections, forgive yourself and all those who wronged you. Only then will you be able to apologise for your actions, to yourself and those you hurt, and move on.”
One of Mike’s biggest regrets is that his mother died before he had a chance to re-establish a loving relationship with her.
“My mom wrote me off; I stole her jewellery and flogged it for R33 000. It paid for a two-week drug binge. I apologised to her but I do not know if she ever really forgave me,” said Mike.
Mike recently contacted Wedge Gardens, the substance abuse treatment centre run by the non-profit Rand Aid Association, to express his appreciation for the positive impact they had on his life.
I absorbed all the messages they shared with me at Wedge and when I finally decided to quit, I had a wealth of knowledge on which to draw,” said Mike.
According to Adél Grobbelaar, from Wedge Gardens, drug rehabilitation requires the patient to be actively involved in the healing process.
“Patients need to understand the nature of addiction and must be taught how to understand themselves. Everyone wants to feel good, appreciated and wanted; addicts need to find gratification through self esteem, self acceptance and self worth, rather than from the quick fix given by alcohol and drugs,” said Adél.
Mike’s advice to addicts is to learn to love yourself and others will love you too.
“Accept your flaws and know that life is what you make of it,” said Mike.
Wedge Gardens can be contacted on 011 430 0320. Alternatively, visit www.wedgegardens.co.za for more information.