Gender-based violence meets its match

A positive attitude about father figures is whirling among men in Alex who are keen to be part of the bigger picture of nation-building.

This was said by Mlungisi Jali, an executive member of NPO, Takuwani Riime (Chivenda for Stand up) Foundation which is leading men’s dialogues on ending this scourge of gender-based violence rocking the township, tarnishing the country and making women and children live in fear of men in the home and community.

Jali said this in the light of deafening silence against this conduct making in particular men who are the main perpetrators all seem to be colluding in its prevalence. This is a country where a woman dies every nine minutes from femicide, fear walking the streets of Alexandra at day time and night – walking is also risky to the men themselves and worse for women who would be easy targets for rape and other forms of sexual violence.

“Enough is enough. Real men ought to stand up, give direction, restore the dignity of men as carers than look aside and leave society radarless.”

Jali said this referring to men who choose to mind their own business when confronted with incidences of violence on the streets and among neighbours. “We have normalised and are paralysed by the violence, have lost respect for life and humanity by the way we treat particularly women who, when confronted with challenges, give solace to each other at clubs.

“Men have no platforms to engage in this basic aspect of human solidarity.

“Each man struggles on his own, turns to self-destructive conduct and taverns to deal with bottled personal challenges which they take out on female partners and children, sometimes committing suicide to end a misery they could be helped to resolve.”

Jali urged men to use the platform as a base to help them reform to their natural role as carers, compliment women as nurturers and, where necessary, perform both roles when the other is unavailable. The starting point, he said, was to focus on the individual and help them to know their identity and responsibility to their family and society. “When this is inculcated properly, the benefits will cascade to the community and countrywide.”

Real men, he said, will be good and loving parents, protect women, lean on and confide in each other for advice and support rather than fear rumours of one’s challenges being spread around.

He said the dialogues have revealed cross-cultural similarities of negative upbringing as the cause of most of the violence. “Dad had the final say, we grew up seeing men kick women including in the home, children being close to the mother and fearful of dad is the common refrain during the dialogues.”

He added that respect is a universal conduct of socialised human beings and beating and harming others has never been approved by any culture. He urged all men in normal circumstances to be fathers beyond the family as the role was more societal than biological.

Another member, Thobelumthetho Khumalo, commended the initiative saying they will revive Ubuntu principles whose main tenets are trust and respect. “They are deficient in society, partly resulting from intrusion of other cultures into African norms and rights issues which have not been internalised into good African customs.” He added that this resulted in confusion, presumed provocation, and anger by men which results in violence from frustration and in the absence of appropriate conflict resolution mechanisms. He said the platform has helped him to deal with such anger and he hopes many others will avail themselves to the initiative.

Contact Details: Takuwani Riime Foundation 072 500 7686.

Thobelumthetho Khumalo of Takuwani Riime Foundation. Photo: Leseho Manala

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