As families celebrated Father’s Day this past weekend, wayward Alex fathers were warned that children, in particular, girls, would choose husbands and partners as part of learnt behaviour from the home’s social and relationship processes.
This was said by non-profit organisation, Agisanang Domestic Abuse Prevention and Training (Adapt) at Central Johannesburg College as part of its annual Best Fathers Project workshop.
According to Adapt, girls would likely choose boyfriends, partners and husbands with similar characteristics and behaviour they are exposed to in the home, ranging from emotional and physical absence, abuse and violence they see from their fathers, brothers and uncles.
The organisation works on domestic violence, sexual and other forms of women and child abuse and is concerned by the upswing in cases of rape, incest and domestic abuse. It attributed this to the absence of positive fathers and husbands who, instead of nurturing and providing unconditional love, abuse wives and girls and other children they should regard as most dear to them.
The organisation’s Sidwell Sehoane said the girls would, instead, learn and absorb the fathers’ anti-social conduct in their choice of partners because the mind registers what is repeatedly observed and this becomes an unconsciously learnt and adopted behaviour and habit.
The project seeks to change this negative conduct by celebrating positive fathers through written stories. These stories were written by Grade 8 and 9 pupils from Realogile and Kwa-Bhekilanga secondary schools.
Johandri Engelbreght, also of the organisation, said the narratives revealed the lack of communication between the dads and daughters. “Many dads are clueless of what to say when alone with daughters, preferring female neighbours to assist on matters regarded as taboo. The fathers should be assisted to know how to open up to their daughters, as talking is therapeutic and would assist both to bond and would also help improve children’s confidence and performance in school,” said Engelbreght.
Sehoane urged society to start celebrating the positive fathers and male guardians to help improve families, including father and child bonding, and to counter the fear of males by females which limits people from living mentally healthy lives.
