Single dads in Alex celebrated for embracing fatherhood
Mozambican-born Alex resident Alfred Chauke is battling to get his children to school as his former wife absconded with their birth certificates.
More and more single dads in Alexandra are increasingly breaking the long-held traditional gender roles and stereotypes by taking on the role of single parents.
Bertha Muchadeyi, family and social services leader at Rays of Hope, an Alex-based NPO that has supported the community for more than 30 years, said the organisation had seen a rise in the number of single fathers attending its parent workshops in search of guidance and support.
“When the single dads come to the workshops every week, they have a safe space for them to share and offload. They get to talk about the issues they’re facing, and that, I believe, has made a huge difference in the number of men embracing fatherhood as single, primary caregivers,” Muchadeyi said.
Stanley Nhlapo, who lives in Alex and is a single father to four children, said following his wife’s passing in 2010, he did not have anyone to look after his children as both his wife’s family and his own could not afford the extra mouths to feed.
Nevertheless, he did not hesitate in taking on the responsibility of raising his children, adding that what pained him most was having to explain to his children why they have to do without a new pair of shoes.
“It hurts me as a father to have to tell them they need to wait until we have more money, but I know it’s important to teach them patience and understanding, and for them to realise that we are not as privileged as others,” he said.
“They should know that life isn’t fair, that not everyone can have what they want. I do this to protect them, and I do my best to make sure they don’t fall into bad habits or do the bad things they see other people doing just so they can get things.”
Another single father from the township, Bronkos Khoza also began looking after his now teenage son when his wife fell ill and lost her sight shortly after. As she no longer lived in their home, Khoza stepped up to care and provide for his son, which often meant taking on tasks and responsibilities that he had never done before.
“I need to make sure my child eats, so I learned to cook. He needs clean clothes for school, so I learned to wash and iron his clothes, and I make sure he looks presentable for school every day,” Khoza said.
Another father doing his best under challenging circumstances is Alfred Chauke. While he is now an elderly single father to two children, he has been looking after his children since they were in nappies after their mother left the family without warning one day.
To make matters worse, the mother of his children left with their birth certificates, which means Chauke has been unable to place his children in school.
“It’s my biggest wish for my children to be able to attend school and have better futures. I don’t want them to live like this. The place we live in isn’t even good enough for an animal. I want better for them, and for them to be able to have what other children have,” Chauke said.
Born in Mozambique, Chauke came to South Africa in 1986 to escape the country’s civil war and to find a better life for his family. He settled in Alex and attempted to start a new life without realising that his journey would eventually take a lonely, unforgiving turn.
He currently recycles plastic bottles to make a living or does ‘piece jobs’ where available. “I couldn’t run to anyone for help. I couldn’t go back to Mozambique, as my parents have passed on and there would have been no one there to help me. I had to face this as a man, on my own,” an emotional Chauke added.
Rays of Hope is currently assisting Chauke to appeal to the Gauteng Department of Education for the placement of his children in school and has also secured funding for repairs to his home.
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