Dear president Zuma. I write this to you on behalf of my fellow South Africans. As it turns out, I Nkandla will not pay e-tolls because I am too busy paying for everything else.
Just last week, the Ekurhuleni budget speech spelled out the increases in my living arrangements.
*7.5 % for assessment rates
*12.2% for electricity
*14.5% for water
*9.5% for sanitation
*8% refuse removal
This, as it seems, makes my modest middle class lifestyle that much more pressurized and bordering on unsustainable. Then there is the R17-billion that my fellow South Africans and I will pay due to 80.5c per liter fuel levy imposed by the finance minister over the course of this year. Hardly seems fair then to have to pay an additional 30c per kilometer to use the toll roads.
But, most importantly, it has come to my attention that the R250-million spent on “security” upgrades at your personal residence was completely necessary. It would seem that since you, Mr. President, were not aware of the details of these upgrades and that you are thus not liable for the payment thereof. In fact, since so much has been made of this, it would seem prudent that further money be spent to continue the upgrades for your safety.
I am quite thrilled by this announcement as I can now say that I was completely unaware of the details of the highway system upgrade and, as such, I am not liable for the payment thereof. In fact, since such a hullabaloo has been made over this, I am assured that further upgrades will become necessary to ensure my safety as a motorist. Phew, for a second there I almost thought that I would have to pay e-tolls but, thanks to you Mr. President, there is no need to fear that.
Since petrol is going up another 49c, I can’t actually afford to use my car anyway so the tolls shouldn’t really matter.
As I write this, in the dark, watching my laptop battery steadily drain, I hope criminals don’t take advantage of the fact that my house alarm won’t work.
I am grateful for your language lesson on how to say Nkandla and for your example of how not to pay for the things if you don’t want to.
