Sisters doing it for themselves

South African women, it is time to stand up and do it for yourself!

Being financially and emotionally dependent on your partner makes you vulnerable to gender-based violence and will leave you on a very uncertain footing should your relationship break up.

Then there is the reality that men are less likely to marry young, making your chances of finding a husband that bit harder and highlighting the need for personal development and independence.

According to a report released earlier this year by Statistics South Africa (Marriages and Divorces, 2019), the average age of men who walk down the aisle is 37! The data suggests that men also tend to marry younger women, with 76.2% of bridegrooms older than their brides.

Refiloe Seseane, the founder of 18twenty8, a girls’ education and mentoring initiative, says South African women need to find ways to contribute to their own personal growth so that they can be the masters of their own destiny.

Do these three things, urges Refiloe:

Get an education – “I believe in the power of education (and learning) to change women’s lives for the better.”

Apart from ensuring they complete as much formal education as circumstances allow, Refiloe urges women to continually improve their skills by committing to lifelong learning.

“Enrol in programmes and courses and read across a range of different topics.”

The power of sisterhood – “Join support networks and mentoring programmes, not only for personal mentorship and support, but to mentor and be part of other women’s support networks. Life experience leads to great lessons for us and others.

“We must remain honest and be willing to learn but also to share our knowledge and experiences.”

Put your well-being first – “I think looking after yourself holistically is probably the most important thing you do can. Care for your spiritual, emotional and physical health by pursuing activities that boost wellness. Prayer, fasting, exercise, dissociating from negative people, digital minimalism and good eating habits do the trick for me, but each individual should find what works best for them.”

Be introspective

This Women’s Day, Refiloe urges the women of South Africa to take a long, hard look at their lives. “We must have an honest dialogue with ourselves, and the members of our families. This will help identify whether we have a sense of joy, fulfilment and purpose from our domestic and professional responsibilities. If not, then it is time to change course!”

About 18twenty8

The NPO empowers young women by developing strategies for their education and personal development. It does so through a number of initiatives, including life-skills workshops for girls in grades 11 and 12, providing mentors for undergraduates through its Big Sister Network, and curbing youth unemployment by recruiting and training community-based youth to facilitate its workshops.

The organisation can be contacted on 011 064 4810 or 060 798 7683, or by visiting its website at www.18twenty8.org

Refiloe Seseane’s bio

Refiloe established 18twenty8 in 2011, after reflecting on her personal life journey and realising how much more she could have achieved with the correct support.

She has met the Queen of England – at a royal reception for youth, education and the commonwealth at Buckingham Palace, and participated in then-US first lady Michelle Obama’s 2011 Young African Women Leaders’ Forum and then-US president Barack Obama’s 2012 Young African Leaders’ Initiative. She is a previous winner of CEO Magazine South Africa’s Most Influential Women Award.

Educated at St Dominic’s Convent in Boksburg, she has an Honours degree in economics from Unisa, a postgraduate certificate in financial economics from Cardiff University in Wales and has had an impressive career in the financial services sector. She has starred in Generations, Rhythm City and The Wild.