Teen suicide: What signs to look out for and how you can help

At the start of the new academic year, adolescents and young adults find themselves heading for new grades, possible class and school changes, or heading to university, college, or,  in the case of those not continuing their studies, looking for employment. For those who have written Grade 12 exams, years of studying, hard work and dedication were devoted to one last set of exams which can dictate their future.

“Young people with an underlying mental illness may experience depression in the time leading up to exams, and also if they achieved lower than expected results that may make them feel they have let themselves and others down,” said Tegan Rix, from Akeso.

This depression, often accompanied by social isolation and loneliness, can lead to suicide.

What causes youngsters to feel hopeless?

Research suggests that the main reported causes of depression, suicidal ideation and associated hopelessness, are due to difficulty with meeting expected university standards, loneliness, relationship difficulties and strained relationships with parents. It is helpful to acknowledge that you are not alone, and that negative thoughts and thinking patterns, increased anxiety, stress and change in physiological patterns are all normal during this time.

“Many young people are highly motivated to avoid failing – not because they cannot manage emotional reactions such as disappointment and frustration – but because failing makes them feel a deep sense of shame,” she explained. When moving to a higher grade, or from school to university, young people may be exposed to other students who perform better than them, increased workloads, and different academic expectations.

Fear of failure looks different for every individual. Examples may include a reluctance to try challenging tasks or projects, self-sabotaging behaviour such as procrastinating or failing to follow through with goals, negative self-talk such as ‘I’m not smart enough’, or a willingness to only try things they know they will succeed at.

It is important to be able to identify this pattern of behaviour and work to overcome it.

Look out for warning signs

While some suicides may occur without any outward warning, most do not. The most effective way to prevent suicide is to learn to recognise the signs of someone at risk, take these signs seriously and know how to respond to them.

It can be difficult to predict suicide. Warning signs may present differently for young individuals. These include behavioural changes, thoughts or feelings which may give clues about the increased risk of suicidal behaviour.

“Some adolescents verbalise that they want to kill themselves or they speak about their own death often. It is important to take these comments seriously.

“Parents, friends and healthcare professionals should take each suicidal ideation or plan to potentially end one’s life seriously, and to ensure that we keep young people safe, even if they are using this language as a way to express intense emotional feelings.”

Other signs are more difficult to identify, especially when adolescents internalise their feelings and emotions and keep them hidden from family and friends.

“It’s advisable for caregivers and friends to be observant of changes in behaviour over a short period of time and to ask questions. Communication is vital when attempting to form a safe and supportive structure for adolescents. If family and friends are not easily approachable, it may be a somewhat impossible task for adolescents to verbalise thoughts and feelings which they too are fearful of.”

What can be done to help vulnerable youngsters?

Although some youngsters would like to dedicate a large portion of their day to their books, it is equally important for them to ensure they maintain a healthy level of physical activity and engage in constructive hobbies during study time.

“It’s also important to ensure that any physical illness is treated, that they maintain a good level of self-care, having enough sleep, spending leisure time with company they value, and enjoying and maintaining a healthy and balanced diet.

How can parents and family help?

It is of utmost importance that caregivers find a middle ground between what they expect their children to achieve and what is realistically attainable with regards to results from school or university.

“Supporting youngsters during this time means empathising with them. Empathising with your child means trying to ‘feel with them’. Try to put yourself in their shoes and understand that exams are a difficult time and they are under pressure to work towards the best possible results.”

The home environment should be one of minimal distraction during exam time. Try to encourage them to take breaks and do things that they enjoy, rather than what they are responsible for, even if this means relieving them off some chores during exam time.

If your child is away from home and you are not able to support them in person, send a message to ask how the studies are going and, most importantly, how they are feeling.

Avoid saying ‘I know you will do well’ or ‘You have been studying really hard and I am sure you will pass’ as these statements add to the expectation. Sometimes it is better to talk about anything other than the upcoming exams.

“You could also help them to take a step back and regain some perspective so that they remember that exams can be retaken and that bad marks or failure do not define who they are.”