Holding hands, healing hearts
Having someone who listens to you and reassures you that it is okay to feel broken is very important for the healing process.
“SPEAK once, listen twice. We are not there to fix people, we are there to listen to them, be compassionate, hold their hand and say ‘we are here for you in love’.”
These were the words from Claire Mc Loughlin at Netcare Union Hospital’s Cancer Day event on Thursday, February 16. The Hold My Hand organisation spoke about cancer, the pain that inevitably goes with it, and the importance of simple compassion. Claire Mc Loughlin, founder of the organisation, describes it as a counselling service for cancer patients by cancer patients. As a former sufferer, she knows exactly how finding out one has cancer can turn one’s world topsy-turvy.
Inspired by Pogiso Thloloe (Oncology Manager at Clinton hospital), who provided her with abundant support when she had cancer, Claire established the Hold My Hand organisation. It is a support system for cancer patients who need someone to listen to them when they feel hopeless, sad, angry, or whatever. Claire says she knows from personal experience that a cancer sufferer tends to keep their emotions to themselves and put on a brave face. Having someone who listens to you and reassures you that it is okay to feel broken is very important for the healing process. “Hold My Hand provides cancer sufferers with a safe space,” says Claire. “They can talk and cry and scream as much as they want. Here, it’s all okay.”
Claire explains, through an interesting poster, the principles that Hold My Hand lives by: Compassion, empathy, being familiar with one’s emotional triggers, knowing one’s inner boundaries, knowing how to speak with a cancer sufferer – what to talk about and what not, and lastly, being a good listener.
Counselling sessions are intimate, confidential, secure and often involve family members – many times, cancer sufferer’s loved ones are worse off emotionally than the sufferers themselves. Hold My Hand also has a Whatsapp group that patients can join. That way, support is always within reach.
Hold My Hand celebrates a whole year of existence. Since its humble beginning, it has helped around four to six patients per week. Ms. Pogiso Thloloe describes it as a tiny mustard seed that has been planted: “The tiniest seed will grow into one of the biggest trees you will ever see. That’s Hold My Hand.”
References:
Pogiso Thloloe – pogiso.thloloe@netcare.co.za
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