Not even 24 hours after news broke of the “House of Horrors” my Facebook news feed was flooded with images of the house, the man accused of committing this awful crime, photos of the back of the children’s heads and even worse, photos of their faces.
The crime on its own is enough to cause outrage, but that’s not what got my blood boiling. One newspaper in particular (no, not this one) has gone out of its way to exploit the victims for their own personal gain, but it’s what they’re known for, and I expected it.
What I did not expect was for people, using social media as a platform, to be so insensitive – not only to the victims but their basic human right to privacy.
Can you not see that by identifying the father, you are taking away any chance for these kids to one day live something close to a normal life. With care and support and love from the community there is still a chance for them. But instead of giving them a chance to move forward, you have given them a stigma.
Now, I tried to make this argument on Facebook and I got some fairly interesting responses back. One person said that it was OK to identify him because the kids had never left the house, so hey, no one knows who they are anyway! Another said that they were traumatised already, what’s the big deal? Apparently it’s better for everyone to know who he is, just in case they end up sitting next to him in a restaurant and he tries to do the same to their kids.
What I want to know is would you be so quick to share photos of your partner if they had done this to your children? Would you really want the whole world to know? Would you want people whispering behind your kids’ back? Would you want them walking through this life with people around them knowing every personal detail of their ordeal? I don’t think you would, but even if you did, as a parent it would be your perogative, you’re their legal guardian and the person they trust to make the best decision for them.
Who are you to make that decision for this family? And what does knowing his name, or knowing what he looks like change for you? Does making comments about beating him up if you ever see him in public make things better for anyone? And would beating him up change anything for his wife and children?
Don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re sharing his photo because you care, you don’t. You’re sharing it because you’re selfish, and clearly unable to consider the impact that action may have on anyone but yourself.
Outrage is one thing, but that’s never a good enough reason to put your perceived “right to know” before someone else’s right to dignity. It’s too late to ask people not to share the photos, but really, shame on you if you have.
Amanda van den Barg
