Kwatsaduza – It has become a common practice in black communities for the first-born child to take on the role of deputy parent.
It is not so unusual to find young children, especially girls, being the primary caregivers to their siblings or others living with them.
These children take on some major responsibilities on a daily basis.
South Africa is beset with child- and youth-headed households.
There are various reasons for this phenomenon.
Most youth-headed households are a result of child-headed households.
Child Welfare KwaThema and Springs social worker Nana Sikhakhane clarifies that a child-headed household refers to a living situation where a child between the ages of zero to 18 years has taken charge of a household in terms of decision-making, as well as the responsibility to provide for the physical, emotional, social and at times financial needs of others living with them.
“In most cases, the children find themselves in these positions due to a variety of reasons, such as both parents being dead, being raised by a single parent, being raised by a parent who is not emotionally and physically available, being raised by parents who start abusing drugs or parents who sometimes abandon their children for the sake of a new relationship,” says Sikhakhane.
Also Read:Child headed households remain a problem
The 2018 research conducted by the Human Science Research Council estimated that 60 per cent of South African children have absent fathers and that 40 per cent of the mothers are single parents. Single parenting is a major contributor, along with the pandemic of HIV/Aids.
Refiloe Msibi (22) from Langaville Extension One has been taking care of her five siblings and her five-year-old daughter since their mother left them by themselves in March 2019 to go live with her boyfriend.
Refiloe says their mother packed her bags and left after she and her siblings told her not to let her boyfriend move into their home.
Refiloe is parenting her 20, 17, 14, 12 and 8-year-old siblings. She is unemployed and receives a social grant, but says she sometimes has to use her daughter’s social grant for the things they need in the house as they sometimes run out of food.
She says challenges she faces on a daily basis are having to take care of her siblings and her child on top of it.
Refiloe wakes up in the morning to help them get ready for school, cooks, cleans and sometimes helps with homework, does laundry, packs school lunch boxes and attends school parental meetings.
Their mother comes to visit them sometimes and stays for a day or two.
“Life without our mother is tough, but we are now used to it. My one brother is very troublesome and disruptive at school. I am forever called in because of his behaviour. We also don’t always feel safe and secure.”
Thokozile Mabena, a community social activist and the founder of the Interchange Community Foundation Hub, a non-profit organisation in KwaThema which deals and assists local children with educative needs, says most children are neglected due to a high usage and abuse of alcohol.
“Some of the parents smoke nyaope and because the drug reduces the ability to function properly, they can’t take care of their children.
“The sad part is them using their social grant money to support their drug addiction, while their children are neglected,” says Mabena.
Also read: KwaThema foster mother asking for donations after taking in abused child.
Sikhakhane says the public needs to report such cases to them as there are legal procedures which need to be followed.
“The law doesn’t allow anyone to just come and take someone else’s child to stay with them just because they are party of a child-headed household.
“You must first have a court order and therefore it is important to report such matters,” says Sikhakhane.
