Dads in the Picture talks positive masculinity
One of the objectives of Dads in the Picture is to see men taking responsibility for children, especially fatherless children.
KwaThema – Dads in the Picture hosted a two-day summit at the KwaThema Old Age Home on January 25 and 26.
The summit, themed Addressing the Challenges Relating to the Decay of Morals and Values as seen in Escalating Violence and Abuse Gripping our Communities, was attended by speakers from Families South Africa (Famsa), The Character Company and the deputy minister of justice and Constitutional development, John Jeffrey.
The talk comes after concern from the organisation at the high rates of domestic violence and the intent to find out why it happens so as to deal with the problem at its roots.
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Program director Zibuse Kunene started the informal discussion by speaking on femicide, saying it is either getting worse or it is being reported more.
According to Kunene, some of these cases can be solved through one of the objectives of Dads in the Picture – to see men taking responsibility for children, especially fatherless children.
“We could deal with it on the surface or deal with the source of the problem,” he says.
Speaking on the state of the South African family, Mmatshepo Madiga of Famsa agrees.
“We need to look at the problem from the grassroots level and not from the top,” she says.
Jaco van Schalkwyk of The Character Company says long-term mentorship of fatherless boys may assist with showing them positive masculinity and to steer them away from violence instead of dealing with their emotions.
He says: “Fatherlessness creates a gap, especially between the ages of five and 10 years old, that takes years to fill.”
Through their programme, the boys are made to feel like they belong.
“We don’t want to raise a society with rape centres. We want a society where rape doesn’t happen,” says van Schalkwyk.
Speaking on #MenAreTrash, van Schalkwyk says men who feel they are not trash get emotional about the hashtag and feel it is not the right way to handle it.
“The day when not 80 per cent of prisoners grew up without fathers, when we are not the rape capital of the world, until the statistics change, we have work to do,” he continues.
He says he would like to see a world where people deal with their emotions instead of escaping to work or the shebeen.
Jeffrey spoke on domestic violence restraining orders to prevent further abuse.
“Unfortunately, its a piece of paper and it will only kick in when it is broken.”
Director and filmmaker Neo Matsunyane says it is important that mothers are careful of how they speak to their child about their absent parent so as not to influence the child against the absent parent.
“Sometimes as a father, you want to reach out, but you child knows a monster that was presented to them by the other parent,” he says.
This sentiment was echoed by Kevin Rutter of Fathers in Africa.
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“It builds better character in children if there is an involved father.
“When women understand the importance of fatherhood, it is easier for them to let dad back in because they realise the benefit their child will get from that relationship,” he says.
Meshack Kekana of Dads in the Picture says the event was successful.
“It was a success because we have cemented our partnerships with our panellists like The Character Company and the Department of Justice and Constitutional Development.
“It was also a success because we had locals who came to engage with us. They asked for another summit of this kind to be held,” he says.
Dads in the Picture will host a youth summit in KwaThema on June 14.
