Woman speaks out about abuse
Duduza – Kektso Madyibi says she is more than an abuse victim, but a ‘black woman survivor’.
Having survived 15 years of physical and emotional abuse in her marriage, she says it has made her a stronger woman.
She explains her journey to reclaiming her confidence and dignity was not an easy one, but the fact that she managed to walk out of her marriage alive is a blessing on its own.
“I made excuses for my ex-husband, convincing myself that he loves me and he will change.
“That was the biggest lie I have ever told myself,” she says.
The humiliation and shame she had to suffer looking at her children, who were too young to understand what was going on, probed her to do something about her situation.
“When I decided to leave my husband, the only people I was thinking about were my four children.
“Had I stayed any longer I would have died in my own house, in the presence of my children,” says Madyibi.
She explains that she had no support system, which prolonged her stay in the toxic marriage because she had no one to confide in.
“As a black woman, you are told to keep your marital problems to yourself so people think you have a perfect marriage.
“That contributes to the killing of women who find themselves in abusive relationships,” she says.
As the country commemorates 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children, Madyibi says women should not feel ashamed to report cases of abuse to the police or speak to someone they trust in order to get help.
“As women, we should not be scared to talk and share our experiences with other women.
“Our role is to empower our young girls to be strong women in society, therefore, we should educate them about issues of abuse,” says Madyibi.
