Let children be children

My sister has started catching a taxi after school and while I think it is important for her to learn to independently move around, I cannot help but worry about her experiencing predatory behaviour from men in public like I and many others did.

I was 14 when I was walking in Pietermaritzburg with my grandmother, and a man old enough to be making advances at her, asked my grandmother for my hand in marriage, going back and forth with her even after my grandmother had politely replied “hayi, usayingane” (no, she is a child).

This was not the first time that I was being looked at as anything other than what I was, a child.

When I was 12, I started using public transport without my parents. It is at this point where men old enough to be my father would grab my arm at taxi ranks, calling me “baby” or asking for my phone number.

On most of these occasions, I would be in my school uniform, a clear sign of my tender age.

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This is an experience to which blogger Vanessa Ntinu, like many black girls, relates to.

“The telling glares I received from men, often twice my age, caused a churning in my belly and an incomparable embarrassment.

What was I doing wrong that made it okay for these men to ogle at my rear and whistle in my direction? … I was only 10 years old.”

In a report titled “Girlhood Interrupted: The Erasure of Black Girl’s Childhood”, it was found that “adults believe that black girls seem older than white girls of the same age, and think that black girls need less nurturing, protection, support and comfort than white girls.

It also found that people assume black girls are more independent, know more about adult topics, and know more about sex than young white girls.

This is corroborated to by an article in Destiny Connect where Unisa lecturer, Nompumelelo Motlafe, says this goes back as far as slavery where the bodies of black women “became a space upon which white men could play out their desires without consequence”.

This is alluded to by @BGDblog’s tweet that “little black kids aren’t seen as children, just smaller black adults”.

The problem with black girls being treated like adults is that they have to deal with the same stereotypes that are placed on black women, often leading to black girls being branded as “the angry black woman” when speaking out.

Researcher and author of “Girlhood Interrupted”, Jamilia Blake, says that “One reason this might be occurring is because black girls are being held to the same stereotypes we have of black women”.

“Black women have historically and currently been seen as being aggressive, loud, defiant and over sexualised.

“And I believe, along with many other researchers, that the stereotypes of black women are being mapped on to black girls.”

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An example of this is the story of Cyntoia Brown who at 16 was sentenced to life with no chance of parole until 51 years have been served.

This was after Brown shot and killed Johnny Allen (43) who had picked her up for sex, after she was forced into prostitution by her pimp, “Cut Throat”.

Prosecutors said the shooting was not in self-defence but was a cold blooded murder of a victim of robbery.

This is contrary to the findings of psychiatry professor, Dr William Bernet, who interviewed Brown during the trial, and again 14 years later, finding that although done knowingly and purposely, the murder was not premeditated.

The adultification and sexualising of black girls is not only hurting them by not allowing them the chance to be children, but also says a lot about the society that not only fail to protect its girls, but further perpetuates their sexualisation by protecting the very systems that harm them, like policing how they dress.

As Mairi Lubelska said for Verve, “I am angry at the fact that a young girl wearing shorts can be read as dressing provocatively… I’m angry that, in contrast, young boys don’t think twice putting on their shorts in the summer.”

The policing, catcalling and harassment of anyone, and more especially young girls, is not ok.

It is predatory and makes living in a society where girls already don’t feel safe, even more uncomfortable.

Let children be children.