Columns 21.2.2017 05:01 pm

We’ve arrived at a point where ‘cameltoe panties’ are a thing

Thamsanqa Mkwanazi.

Thamsanqa Mkwanazi.

I’ve heard of women stuffing their bras with toilet paper, but we have reached new lows with ‘cameltoe panties’.

So, the twins are studying figurative and literal meanings of words and phrases at school, since they are in Grade 4. The example in the textbook is that of a “beanpole”. The literal meaning is that of a pole that is used to support a bean plant as it grows.

The second meaning refers to a tall and thin individual who looks like a beanpole. I have a few friends that look like beanpoles. The rest wish they looked like beanpoles.

The latest craze that has the population in a tizz are so-called “cameltoe panties”. So for those who might be in the dark, I am not referring to the literal meaning of a camel’s toe, but rather to the figurative definition. This is a slang term that refers to the outline of a woman’s labia majora in tightly fitting clothes. Please do not tell me I have to explain what a woman’s labia majora is? Grade 4s will tell you that it starts with a “v” , ends with an “a” and girls use it to pee …

So back to the cameltoe. Apparently, there is a new standard for attractiveness that women must follow, and this time the size of their vagina is the focal point, the result being that women are now sold underwear that have cameltoe printed on them to give the impression that they have more generous labia. I have heard of women stuffing their bras with toilet paper (and men enhancing the appearance of their bulges), but this is a bit unnerving.

Every time I hear of such bizarre happenings, I think the end is nigh, and we all should be sucked into the next life. When did society get to a point where women feel they have to “lie” about the size of their genitals?

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