While DJ Zinhle has become the poster girl for getting over a messy breakup and remaining strong, she had admitted it took practice to do so.
There were times when things were so hard I didn’t think I would make it
The 32-year old wrote on her blog in a new post titled ‘Love yourself’ that she was focused on a journey of self-love, and though she didn’t want to rehash old experiences, she felt the need to share.
“There were times when things were so hard I didn’t think I would make it. Nothing made sense, and the pain was overwhelming and confusing. I am not writing about this because I want to open up old wounds or bring attention to the past, but I am aware that my journey, pain and experience was for a special reason,” she wrote.
Here are the five points picked up from her blog about dealing with loss and pain:
Acceptance – It is important to understand and accept that things are the way they are meant to be. Now, I never said that things are meant to be the way YOU want them to be or how you wish they were. You are in the situation you are right now and yes it’s causing you pain and you wish things were different but they aren’t. Accept!! Stop resisting.
Treat your emotional pain – How I did it was by listening to anything that gave me hope. I absorbed myself in positive situations. No I didn’t sit at home the whole day and cry, I took my child for a walk, worked on my body so I can feel good, listened to TD Jakes & Robin Sharma, I read the specific books, I listened to self affirmation tapes and I had positive conversations with my friends.
Shut things and people out to focus – Another thing I did very well was eliminate anything that pushed me back into the painful situation until I fully ready to face it. I shut specific people out, I deleted all social media from my phone, I didn’t listen to radio or watch TV. I only exposed my mind to beautiful things. I see no point in watching a sad movie when you are in pain, I see no point in watching news if half of the things they report on are sad. I watched what I let my mind absorb. I only exposed myself to positivity and happiness.
Replace bad thoughts with positive ones – The reason we don’t move on with our lives is because we spend too much time thinking about the bad situation. It’s normal but you need to be aware of it so you can stop focusing your mind, attention and energies on a situation or feeling you do not want.
Practise gratitude – Count your blessings… How great are we at complaining and focusing on the negative side of our lives? Stop it! That doesn’t do you any good. You are breathing right now, that’s a blessing!!! Stop undermining your blessings. Every night before you fall asleep, count your blessings. I want to teach this to Kairo so when I am rocking her to sleep, we pray. We thank God for the blessings, naming them one by one